The 3 Stages of Intimate Relationships

I love David Deida’s style. His writing awakens all the romantic feelings in me and my admiration of men. I become all dreamy and want to know how else my relationship can be enhanced.According to David Deida, an international teacher and author, there are 3 stages of relating. He calls these stages Dependent, 50 / 50, and Intimate Communion. He defines these stages in his book titled “Intimate Communion” according to the polarity differences between a man and a woman.What stage is your relationship in? If you are not at the third stage, start dreaming! I know it’s possible. I know you have the power to create that for yourself.Here are the 3 Stages of Intimate Relationship by David Deida:Stage One – Dependent relationship”A Dependent Relationship involves partners who become dependent on each other for money, emotional support, parenting or sex.”The most common question for this dependent relationship is “What can I get from my partner?”This kind of relationship may seem to be the traditional way of male & female roles. This relationship may be based on financial or emotional dependence. This dependence relationship is also called Co-dependence. In terms of financial, it is always the woman depending on the man for financial reasons and the man depending on the woman for child care and other things. But what would happen if both could no longer depend on each other; for example, the man dies, or they divorce. How will the woman survive financially? How about emotionally? How will one be able to live through life without the other? In this mode of relationship, with time, people start to grow and learn how to adapt. This is where the next stage begins.Stage Two – 50 / 50 relationship”Safe boundaries and equal expectations for men and women.”The most common question for this relationship is “How can we share together?”In this stage of relationship, one may want to feel safe and independent. Two people coming together, working out an equitable relationship. This is independent people coming together to share a life. This type of relationship may be viewed as the “modern” version of relationships. Both parties will want to feel that everything must be equal. This type of relationship often lacks sexual energy. The polarity needed to ignite the passionate, sexual fire may be missing or will diminish over time.How do you relate to this stage? What’s happening with passion in your love life? Are you excited about spending intimate time with your beloved or are you just functioning together? Are you ‘okay’ or are you ‘deeply completely in love and living your highest potential’?”If the woman feels her feminine-self less and the man his masculine-self less then, the natural charge between the two people will diminish. Often what occurs after the passion and sexual aliveness diminishes is a feeling of incompleteness. The inner longing to be met and be touched deeply no longer occurs. Eventually one or both partners may become dissatisfied within the relationship and they may look outside the relationship for its fulfilment.”Stage Three – Intimate Communion”I relax into oneness and spontaneously give my deepest gift.”The most common question for this stage of relationship is “What is my biggest gift and how can I give my biggest gift to my intimate partner but also to the world?”The intimate communion is the third stage of the intimate relationship. By this stage, the couple are no longer needy people. They have grown out of the dependence and the 50 / 50. They are now relaxing into the healthy boundaries around them. They have now opened their hearts. They now need to give their fullest and give it from their hearts. In the practice of Intimate Communion we learn that love is something you do, not something you “fall into” or “out of”. Love is something you practice. This is what allows you to create healthy relationships.David Deida states that “In this type of relationship you learn to practice loving even when you feel hurt, rejected or resistant. First you practice love, and then your native sexual essence blooms, naturally, inevitably, because you are learning to give from your core, which includes the root of your sexuality.”

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How Writing Fiction Differs From Writing Non-Fiction

All writing is creative, regardless of the subject matter. However there are different skills involved in the writing process, depending on what sort of writing you are completing and on what genre of writing you are completing. Writing a romance manuscript does for example require you to use different skills in terms of description, characterisation and connection with the audience than would be needed if you were writing say a non-fiction article on how cameras work. Many writers can write for a number of genres and can write both fiction and non-fiction pieces of work. However most have a preference and will generally classify themselves as a fiction writer or a non-fiction writer.A fiction writer is someone who writes short stories, story books, novellas and even small snippets of prose that are all ‘made up’ – they aren’t based on fact. They may include factual elements in the writing; for example a true location may be used, a certain time period may be the preface for the story or indeed one or even two of the characters may be based on real individuals, but the overall storyline should be just that – a story – something that is removed from the truth and in science fiction and horror writing, it can can even be removed from reality.A non-fiction writer is someone who writes articles, factual books and journalistic pieces. Their writing is based on fact, not on fiction. It may be an informative piece of writing, that helps the reader do something in a better way. An article titled, ‘How to make a beehive’ would fall into this category. It may however be a piece of writing that helps move knowledge from the writer to the read. A book entitled, ‘A beginners guide to flower arranging’ would for example fall into this category. Journalistic writing is also classified as non-fiction. Journalists tend to provide information on current affairs, but in a way that conveys their own personal point of view on the subject.So, subject matter tends to help draw the distinction between non-fiction and fiction writing. But there are other differences which tend to be based on the type of writing skills that need to be applied to each writing form. For example, the way in which the writer engages with the reader will differ. In non-fiction writing the writer can be quite direct in the way that he addresses the reader; he can make his own voice heard. In fiction writing however there is either a lead character narrating the story and engaging with the reader or there is a dedicated story narrator. In either case, the writer’s own voice isn’t used. Similarly the complexity of the writing structure will differ in non-fiction and fiction writing. Non-fiction writing needs to lead the reader logically around a subject matter in an undisturbed way and in a way that they can easily follow. Fiction writing however can and should be full of twists and turns, with conflicting storylines coming and going, and a host of secondary characters introduced into the mix for good measure!